The Only Guarantee
The only guarantee in life is death. We all know that our lives, somehow, somewhere, at some point, will end. This knowledge does not ease the pain of loss, however.
When a loved one dies, a time in our lives dies with them. The death of a loved one isn’t only the physical loss of that human being, but the loss of an era, of a relationship, of a part of our selves. This is why despite the guarantee of death, it can cut so deeply and permanently alter our sense of self and of the world around us.
The loss of a loved one also dredges up previous losses and forces us to reckon anew with the absence of our departed. Grief and loss are ever present in some ways, and they rise to the surface upon the death of another loved one.
Today my family received news of the death of a beloved friend. He died two days ago, six days before his 89th birthday. He lived a long, productive and full life, but nevertheless, his death hurts. He was a known quantity in our neighborhood, with a ready smile and invitation for conversation with everyone who crossed his path.
When my father died nearly 8 years ago, this friend expressed his sadness for me and my family in the most genuine and empathic of ways. He always expressed concern for my widowed mother, and asked after her, especially when he knew she had been for a visit. He spoke a bit of Spanish and would always engage with me and my son as best he could in our maternal tongue.
Receiving the news of his death today has left me bereft and has also awakened the sadness I carry daily since the death of my beloved father. He reminded me of my father in some ways — an honest, kind, caring, open-minded soul who improved the world and the lives of those around him.
My friend, like my father, will be deeply missed by so many, for all of our days to come, and has left the world a bit emptier. But the fact that they were here and that they touched so many lives also means that though they have died, they are not truly gone.
The only guarantee in life is death. Rest in Peace, Walter. Your light will continue to shine through those of us who were blessed to know you.
